McCarville: And Furthermore, Doctor…

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Having outlined my platform for my non-existent campaign for nothing earlier this week, I’ve received several emails from readers who found truth in some of the planks I listed.

It is this one, however, that has me seeing red:

I have an appt. with a new doctor April 10th.  Got the new patient paperwork in the mail yesterday.  Most of the forms were of the color-in-the-bubble-with-a-#2-pencil-so-a-computer-can-grade-it variety. Then, the last 3 questions on the form:  Do you have working smoke detectors in your home?  Do you consistently wear your seat belt?  Are there any guns in your home?  So, what I want to know is “What the HELL do any of those questions have to do with my colon?”  If I fill in the wrong bubble, will I get a home visit from a psychiatrist or a police officer?  By the way, I left them all blank.


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